River's Hobby
by yesimadramaqueen
Summary: River has a new hobby that impacts the entire crew, especially her relationship with the captain. Rated F for fluff. You have been warned. Mal/River. Post-BDM. Yes, I'm back with more Maliver stories!
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter one: Snuggles**_

River had found herself a hobby. It started when Kaylee and Simon took her into town on a certain moon, and they stumbled onto a flea market. All kinds of goods were sold there, including antiques and off-brand merchandise. Her eyes grew wide at all of the goods stacked in booths, but of course River Tam couldn't gravitate towards anything normal. No, she was anything but. Thus, she found Snuggles.

When she showed Simon and Kaylee her purchase, they leapt at the sight of it. At first, they told her to return it, but she pouted and pleaded. So, Snuggles would come home with them. They weren't aware of the hijinks that would ensue at the time, but it became perfectly clear when they reached the cargo bay. Jayne was lifting weights, lost in his workout. River crept over and held Snuggles above his head. "Girl's name."

He looked up and screamed, tossing the weights onto the ground. "Witch! Gorram moonbrainin' killer woman! Get that thing away from me!"

She giggled. "You're afraid of Snuggles?"

"I ain't afraid of nothing."

He stepped back as she stepped closer. It became a chase around the ship, ending in the kitchen where Mal and Zoe were seated. They looked up from their mugs briefly, confused by the mercenary and pilot. River would cut him off at the exits, holding Snuggles in the air.

"Mal! Make the witch stop!"

"What's she doing?" he asked sleepily, going back to his mug and documents.

"She's got a dead animal!"

"Looks like a…squirrel…sir," Zoe told him, raising a single eyebrow.

He glanced up and saw River dancing about, holding a dead squirrel in her hand. "River, what in rutitn' hell are you doing with that?"

"His name is Snuggles, Captain," she stated matter-of-factly. "Taxidermy. Take the skin, wrap a mold, preserve the death. He's fuzzy."

"Where did you get that?" Mal grimaced. "I ain't ever seen something of the like."

"Flea market. Simon and Kaylee took me."

"Mal," Jayne whined, still trying to avoid the girl. "Tell her to get away from me!"

He rolled his eyes. "Enough is enough, little one."

She stuck her tongue out at Jayne and hopped over to Mal, floating into the seat next to him. Snuggles sat on the table, directly atop his documents. "Pet him, Captain."

"You can't be ordering your captain around, darlin'," he responded, recoiling from the piercing eyes of her new dead pet. "Can you not put that thing on my stuff?"

"_He_ would like you to pet _him_. Then he'll come back to me."

"_He_ don't like anything. _He_ is deader than dead."

"Oh, come on, sir…" Zoe smirked. "If the reader says he wants it."

He glared at her and reluctantly ran a finger down its head. "There."

River lit up and threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you, Captain. Snuggles is happy."

Awkwardly, he pat her arm and cleared his throat. "Now take that thing out of here and stop terrorizing my crew."

She gingerly retrieved Snuggles and smiled mischievously. Her bare feet skipped to the bridge and Mal got a feeling that this wouldn't be the last of Snuggles.

He was right.

Jayne went to pick up his orange cap, the one knit by his mother, to prepare for a snowy mission. When he lifted it off the desk, he was met with the gaze of Snuggles. He screamed and scaled his ladder. "Gorram girl! Go fetch your dead critter!"

Her laughter echoed through the ship.

Just a few days later, Zoe was in charge of coffee. She opened the kitchen cupboard and removed the can of coffee to discover the squirrel holding onto one of the mugs. Her head shook back and forth as she called, "Jayne! There's a special mug for you!"

Just like Jayne and Zoe, Kaylee and Simon were not immune to River's games. Kaylee found Snuggles in her hammock one evening, holding a wrench between his paws. Simon, on the other hand, found him hiding in his dresser drawer. Snuggles was in a vest pocket, glowering at him.

Mal was the only one that seemed to be left alone. After a few weeks, and many angry crew members, he still hadn't found the little guy in his bunk. Honestly, it bugged him that he wasn't included. One night, he wandered onto the bridge, unable to sleep. River was softly breathing in the pilot's chair. She was out like a light, so he didn't disturb her. He sat in the other chair, studying her features in the dim light. She was in Simon's old sweater, covered in one of Zoe's coats, and clutching Snuggles to her chest. He smirked. Of course she'd sleep with the creepy corpse.

An hour passed and he stood to leave. Before he did, he looked at his pilot one last time. Snuggles had fallen from her hands and the coat had slipped. He considered walking away, but in the end he padded gently to her side and pulled the coat to her chin. With an expression of disgust, he picked the thing up and examined it. Snuggles looked as though it could breathe at any second. It was fuzzy, he'd give her that. He carefully placed it on the lap of his sleeping assassin, returning to his own bunk for some sleep of his own.

For a week or two, no one complained about Snuggles. In fact, no one saw Snuggles. River said that she was done with games and Snuggles was in her room, but he wasn't. She stashed him in someone else's bunk, and it was just a matter of time before they found it.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter two: Clarence **_

They had some down time on a large planet in the sticks. River searched the cortex to find another flea market, and sure enough she found one. Everyone complained that she'd only come back with something weird and refused to go with her. So, she went by herself without anybody noticing. She always was a creature of extraordinary grace. However, her grace wouldn't save her from the wrath of her overprotective brother and a certain firefly captain. They wouldn't have known about her excursion, but it was difficult to hide Clarence for long…

"Simon! Simon!" Kaylee cried, running from the passenger dorms with terror in her voice. "There's something in River's room! I don't know what it is and I can't find her! I think it moved!"

Simon emerged from the infirmary and darted into River's room. There was a small scream and he ran back to the infirmary with Kaylee. "I don't know what that is either!"

"What's going on?" Mal asked with Zoe and Jayne in tow. They heard the yelling and decided to check on it.

"There's something in River's room," Kaylee stuttered, pointing. "On the floor by the bed. And she ain't nowhere to be found!"

Mal took off like a shot and ran into River's room, pausing at the sight before him. Zoe and Jayne stood behind. Jayne squeaked and backed up while Zoe raised her eyebrows and leaned in, "That ain't alive, is it?"

Mal shook his head no. "I don't think so. Where's River?"

"I haven't seen her," Zoe frowned.

Jayne shook his head as well. Mal left and began to shout for her. "River? River, if you're on this boat you come to the passenger dorms right now!"

River appeared on the stairs to the passenger dorms just a few moments later. "Captain?"

"Where have you been?" he demanded.

"Hiding. Thinking."

"You scared your brother half to death. Don't do that," he chided, his heart still pounding from being terrified himself. "Can you explain that thing in your room?"

She frowned at him. "Clarence?"

"Clarence?" Simon repeated. "What is it?"

"He is a ventriloquist doll from Earth-that-Was. Very old. Antique. Doesn't work. Broken. Unwanted. Not anymore. Has a home."

"Course he's unwanted! He's creepifying," Jayne growled. "This boat is becoming a gorram freak show 'cause of her."

"Jayne," Mal snapped. "It is…odd…but it ain't doing any harm."

River smiled at that, but Simon was scowling. "Where in the 'verse did you find it?"

"Wait…" Kaylee said, the wheels turning. "She said it was antique."

There was a pause.

"You went to the market _alone_?" Simon growled, ready to scold her for her actions. Mal took care of that.

"What were you thinking? You could of got hurt, spotted, took, or worse! You don't do that ever, dong ma?" all eyes landed on him. He cleared his throat. "Maybehaps I was a little…anyway, it's just not a good idea to…"

"She understands. Comprehends," River nodded. She hugged him suddenly and let go just as quickly. "Will ask you next time."

"I…" he swallowed, feeling the eyes again. "Be sure you do."

River vanished into her room, smiling to herself. The captain was too worried about her. At dinner that night, Clarence got his own chair. She adjusted his tattered bow tie and rapidly explained ventriloquism to the crew, along with the functions and engineering of the doll. She should have kept the last part to herself.

"In various Earth-that-Was films, ventriloquist dummies would come to life as entities of evil and murder individuals. Evil spirits would reside inside of the dolls as the result of supernatural activity, bring the wood to an animated state, and pick their weapon of choice. In one, the doll would trigger a scream so the evil spirit could remove the victim's tongue and possess their voice. The victim would, of course, die a horrific death. Could someone pass the bread?"

No one slept well that night.

River spent her spare time trying to get Clarence partly operational. She could move his head, but his mouth was stuck. Her plan was put into action. She sat on the couch with Clarence on her lap, moving his head when anybody walked in. Simon and Kaylee walked faster, Jayne yelled, Zoe didn't miss a beat, but she wouldn't do it to Mal. He heard about it from everyone else, but he knew that she didn't do it to him. He walked by her plenty that day. Why did the girl want to leave him out of everything?

Gradually, Simon and Jayne noticed that their clothes were going missing: old shirts, an old sock here and there, and even a pair of pants. River was the culprit, and she happily showed off Clarence's new outfit at dinner. Jayne dropped his fork and Simon said, "River…you can't steal and tear apart other people's clothing!"

"Clarence needed a new outfit."

They grumbled and groaned, but River didn't mind. Mal hadn't noticed any clothing go missing, and he knew that it wasn't on Clarence. He frowned and finished his meal, stalking off to his bunk. It was getting under his skin. He didn't like being treated differently.

The door to his bunk opened and her bare feet appeared on the ladder. "Captain."

"You should knock," he told her grouchily. She pounded on the wall. "That's not. Never mind."

"Request."

"What?"

"Your bow tie."

"Why?"

"Clarence."

He smiled. "You want my old bow tie for him?"

"Yes. Finishing touch on the outfit. Wanted to be sure I could have it."

"I guess," he tried to avoid grinning like a complete idiot. He got up and found it in a drawer, handing it over with enthusiasm.

She added it to her doll, nodding Clarence's head. "He approves. Thank you, Captain."

"You're welcome."

She went back up the ladder and he sat down with a sigh. Finally, the reader hadn't forgotten him. He hated to admit that he was glad.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter three: Toys**_

This time, Zoe agreed to take her to the market. After the last fiasco, she wanted to be sure the captain kept his blood pressure down and the pilot wouldn't buy anything too scary. River thought about purchasing a rodent skeleton in order to reconstruct it, but she knew that Zoe wouldn't let her. So, she settled on an entire toy collection. She talked the guy into giving her a great price, but it was thanks to her big eyes and Zoe's big muscles. Hence, she came home with a box of trinkets to have some more fun.

She cranked the wind-up toys, all ten of them, and let them loose in Jayne's bunk in the middle of the night. She slipped out of the bunk just in time, for the slumbering mercenary was jolted awake. The gunshots woke everyone else, and she quickly went back down. Only three toys survived the massacre, and she was lucky that Jayne didn't strangle her as well. No one else would admit it, but everyone thought that the situation was hilarious. Jayne wouldn't talk to River for weeks.

Simon didn't find it as funny when it was his turn to be awoken, however. River was on the floor of the bunk he shared with Kaylee, surrounded by metal figures. She had close to thirty, and she was lost in her own little world. She didn't want to leave out Wash's dinosaurs, so they joined the imaginary play time. If it weren't the dead of night, Simon would have found it nostalgic. In this case, he just wanted to sleep.

"River," he whispered. "You'll wake Kaylee."

She walked a policeman over to a nurse. "Excuse me, you can't walk a dinosaur here!"

"River," he repeated. "Shush."

"Dino attack!"

The dinosaurs knocked down several of the metal men. Kaylee stirred. "Simon?"

"Hush. Go back to sleep," he told her gently, pulling his limbs from the warm sheets. He pried River from the floor and put her on the ladder.

"My toys," she complained.

He muttered under his breath and handed her the noisy things. She didn't move. "Go on. I'll see you in the morning."

"Simon."

"What?"

She held out a metal figure of a doctor. "For you."

"You want me to keep it?"

She nodded. "Came to give it to you, but you were asleep. So I entertained myself with the materials around me."

He smiled and said quietly, "Want some coffee?"

They went up to the kitchen and had something to drink. He found himself playing with her like they used to. Turns out, one is never too old for toys. He kept the doctor with him as he returned to bed. River stayed awake, talking to Clarence and arranging the figures by age. She had calculated the exact age of each one via carbon dating. Clarence sat on a chair beside her while the wind-up toys circled her feet. Come morning, Mal discovered her draped across the table and toys strewn about all over the kitchen.

Over the course of the week, she handed out the metal figures to various members of the crew. She tracked down Kaylee in the engine room to give her an engineer from Earth-that-Was. Kaylee was very excited and put it on a shelf near the engine, stating, "That's so shiny, River! Thank you!"

Zoe received a soldier from River. She left it Zoe's bunk for her to find. She was confused at first and brought it back to River, thinking she would want it back. "You left this in my bunk," she said, sliding it to River. She slid it back to Zoe. "What, that's for me?"

"A soldier for a soldier."

Zoe actually smiled. "I see your logic." She put it back in her bunk on display.

Jayne was a challenge. River considered giving him a little girl, as his name was the name of a girl, but she knew he was already mad at her. Instead, she gave him a pirate. He was cleaning his guns at the table when she presented it to him. Mal was washing his mug in the sink at the time.

"For you," River stated. Jayne paused. "Yes, you."

He pointed to it. "What is it?"

"Metal toy figure. Pirate."

"Pirate? Like them guys that go around doin' whatever they want, drinkin', gettin' all that money, and chicks?" he inquired, looking it over. She rolled her eyes.

"No rules. No morals. Double-crossers."

Jayne grinned. "Thanks, crazy. That's not bad. But I still ain't happy with your messin' with me."

"Understood."

She left the room and Mal walked up to the table. "She gave you that?"

"Don't you have ears? She sure did. Shiny," he smiled, shoving it into one of his pockets. "I think I'll keep it with me. I'm a pirate! Zoe said she got one of a soldier."

Mal raised his eyebrows. Was she forgetting him again? He waited for over a week and she hadn't left him one or given it to him. He thought seriously about searching his bunk for it, but asked why it was so gorram important. It just was, he figured, because nobody likes to be that person left out of the loop.

He was in the cargo bay, checking on their latest shipment, and that's when he stumbled onto Clarence by the stairs. A smirk played on his lips and he picked Clarence up, fixing the bow tie he gave the doll. He set him down on the crates and sat beside him for a moment. His painted, blue eyes seemed to be asking him something. "What?" he asked the doll. "What you looking at?"

"Wondering," River's voice called. He jumped at how she could shift about. "Not him. You."

"What you mean, little one?"

She picked Clarence up and plopped down beside Mal. "I have twenty-eight metal figures. Doctor for Simon. Twenty-seven. Engineer for Kaylee. Twenty-six. Soldier for Zoe. Twenty-five. Pirate for Jayne. Twenty-four. None to suit you. Considered soldier, like Zoe. No. Taken. Considered cowboy. No. You don't wear fringe and chaps. Considered knight. No. Only been in one sword fight. The rest. None. No metal figure for you. But…" she paused, tilting her head to one side. "There is something."

She reached into a pocket and gave him one of her wind-up toys. It was a large bear with a book. He held it, wondering why she gave him that. She turned the key and it bent to turn the page. It still wasn't making any sense.

"Because, Captain," she began, "That's my favorite toy."

With that, she and Clarence skipped away. He wound it again and watched it move, smiling.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter four: Phonograph**_

It was Jayne's turn to go with River to the market. He didn't want to go, but when they explained that he could watch the items she might buy…well, that was motivation enough. Every planet had a different kind of market, and River was disappointed to find that there weren't any obscure things for her to buy. Jayne was relieved, but on the way out she spotted a black box with two handles. Only she knew what it was or how to work it, so he returned to the ship hoping it wasn't filled with more critters or noisy toys. Noise, however, it did have.

The loud music pumped through the entire ship. It had to be River, so the crew followed it to the passenger dorms. It was an odd sort of sound, filled with static and strange instruments. River was in the common area, dancing with Clarence in a big circle. The music came from her room and the mysterious box. They looked at it, the lid open and a disc spinning around and round. The second handle was spinning with it, and a large metallic tube was balanced by a tiny needle.

"River!" Simon called over the music. "How do you turn it down?"

"Can't!" she shouted back, laughing. "Dance time."

"Gorramit, I knew that box would be trouble…" Jayne hissed, trying to figure the thing out. Zoe was beside him, doing the same thing. "Do you get this?"

"No idea," Zoe responded.

Mal was beside Kaylee, watching River dance. She seemed a little hindered by Clarence, and she noticed it too. She tossed Clarence at Mal, and Mal caught him. He put it down carefully, not wanting to break his pilot's little guy. She twirled and moved across the floor like she was hovering. Mal observed. He knew she could fight, but he didn't know she could dance like that.

Suddenly, the song stopped and an unpleasant scratching noise replaced it. She stopped just before it did, and she went into her room by pushing past Zoe and Jayne. She moved a golden lever and it stopped. Jayne began to complain about the noise, and River stopped him.

"Didn't know it was that loud. Had to dance."

For the most part, she kept the box closed and the music silent. Every now and then, she'd turn it on and dance around the passenger dorms. Sometimes, she'd dance with Clarence. Mal would walk through to catch a glimpse when she did, but most of them did. He wasn't happy when he found her instructing Jayne on the principals of dancing. Jayne was standing there awkwardly, trying to follow her feet. He stepped on her and she ended the lesson, cutting off the music. She was the only one that knew how to work the mysterious box.

Mal was in his bunk later that night, picturing her dancing with Jayne in his mind. He grimaced and tugged his boot until it flew underneath his bed. He knew he'd forget where it was if he didn't get it right then, so he bent and reached for it. It was too dark to see what he was grabbing. He leapt backwards when he felt something soft. He pulled it out, surprised to find Snuggles in his bunk. He smiled and sat on the bed, already forgetting about his other boot.

"She did hide it," he said to himself, taking off the other boot.

For a bit, he stayed there with Snuggles. He decided that she probably wanted it back, so he wandered up his ladder and towards her room. His knuckles lightly tapped on the door and her voice answered, "Come in, Captain."

It was still weird how she could do that. He stood there uncomfortably, turning Snuggles in his hands. "I have Snuggles. Figured you'd want it back. I just found it."

She smirked and took it from his hands. "Just found it?"

"I don't look under my bed much. If you wanted me to find it, that's not the place."

"Didn't put him there to be found."

His brow furrowed. "Why then?"

"Gave me good dreams. Thought he might for you."

"Well…" Mal began, taken aback by the statement. "I appreciate the notion."

"Haven't had a nightmare since," she sang, lying back on her bed with her arms tossed carelessly above her head.

"It's not nice to play about in other people's heads, darlin'."

"I don't play," she frowned. "Not in heads."

"Right, well, I should be going…" he nodded, turning to leave.

"Captain."

"Yes?"

She stood and grasped his hand. He leapt and tried to let go, but she wouldn't let him. She led him to the phonograph. "Pay attention."

"What—"

"Lift lid," she began, lifting the lid and revealing the mechanics. "Put record on." She chose from a stack and set it on the turntable. "Switch on." She pushed the golden lever. "Crank. Quickly." She cranked until it turned at a dizzying rate. "Place needle on starting line." She carefully dropped the needle and the music played. "Follow me," she said, pulling him into the common area. She pulled him in and instructed, "Dance."

He tried to keep up with her, but it was a little more challenging than dancing with some townie on a backwater moon. She moved closer to him without skipping a beat. He could feel her pressed up against him, and he was getting twitchy. "Relax," she whispered. "Dance." He did as he was told and discovered that he was enjoying himself a mite too much.

When the song ended, she dragged him back into the room and showed him how to turn it off. "That's how it works," she finished, sitting on her bed.

"Okay…I'll remember that…" he nodded, trying to escape her gaze.

"Captain," she said again. He stopped. "Jayne asked."

"What?"

"Asked me to teach him."

"Do you know why?"

"Yes," River nodded. "It's irrelevant. Didn't want to dance with Jayne. I asked you. Don't tell how to work the phonograph. It's a secret."

He stood there for a moment, processing. She hugged Snuggles to her chest. "Goodnight, Captain."

"Goodnight, darlin'."

Gently, he shut the door and went up the steps for his bunk. He smiled to himself.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter five: Market**_

"Please?" she pouted, batting her long eyelashes.

He huffed, folding his arms. "I have a lot to do, River."

"Just for a little while?" she pleaded. "Won't be near another market for months."

"You can't know that," he argued. She gave him a typical River look. "So you can know that. But, don't you think that someone else who's been before would be better?"

"No."

"You won't even consider—"

"No."

"But—"

"_No_."

"River."

"No!"

He checked the time and thought about his options. He wanted to go, just to keep an eye on her, but he had a lot to do. Maybe he could if Jayne took over the chore of loading the boxes. However, Jayne wouldn't do that.

"Would over going to the market again. He got scared of all the strange folk."

Readers. How could anyone ever win an argument?

"The event of winning an argument is highly unlikely," she added, moving to his side. Her fingers wrapped around the fabric of his sleeve, tugging. "_Please_?"

Just like that, he folded. Jayne was ordered to take over loading, Zoe was put in charge, and Simon had to take over his daily chores. They were off to a flea market in a nearby town on foot. River skipped happily ahead of him, dancing and humming. He caught himself smiling at the pilot, cursing himself for doing so. She paused, waiting for him to catch up. "Hurry, Captain! Early birds and squeaky wheels."

He shook his head and caught up. A large sign fluttered in the distance. "Flea Market," he read. "Huh. These things are popular, huh?"

"Yes."

"Why's it a 'flea' market?"

"Origins are disputed. Too many to name. No real fleas reside in a flea market. Hopefully."

"Hopefully?" he frowned. She laughed. "Ha-ha. Don't scare me. It's my first time."

She wrapped her arms around his, smiling. "Won't scare you."

They entered the market together, instantly surrounded by a mob of people. He didn't want her to get separated from him, for safety reasons of course, so he held onto her wrists about his arm. They fought through the crowd to the first booth. Pots, pans, candles, rugs, nothing interesting. River jolted him from it with a hardy push and moved to the next one. Captures, posters, paintings. River held up a small painting of a monster devouring a bloody and nude human corpse.

"I like it," she grinned.

"No," he said simply. "That thing ain't right."

"It's Goya."

"Go-who?"

"Artist from Earth-that-Was."

"Right."

She giggled and set it back down, grasping Mal's hand in hers. He didn't mind, plus he had to worry about that whole safety thing…

"More dolls," she stated at the next booth. "Nothing of note. Keep walking."

River continually told him at each booth that there was, "Nothing of note." Mal noticed a few interesting things. Antique weapons, old coins, and possibly an illegal item or two. He wasn't there to buy, though. It was River's day and River's hobby. He was just along for protection.

After several hours, River found something wrong with everything she picked up. Or, she wouldn't find anything at all. It was strange to him. She always came home with something, and there was plenty of items that she'd like. That much he could figure.

They strolled out of the market and began the journey back. She was moving slowly, so he moved slowly with her. She had his arm still, and he still didn't mind. "Guess this was just a bad market, huh?" he asked idly, attempting to make conversation.

"It was a great market."

"But you didn't buy anything."

"Didn't have to."

He wasn't following her. "Why not?"

"I got what I wanted already."

"What do you mean?"

"You came with me," she explained, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."

He shrugged, feeling the heat from her lips burn his cheek. "You're welcome, darlin'."

"You can say it."

"What?"

"You wanted to come."

He didn't like how she knew everything. "Well, just to keep you safe."

"Liar. It isn't nice to lie."

"I ain't lying!"

"Are too. _Reader_. Real reason is me."

"What?" he sputtered nervously. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Care about me, Captain. More than you think you should."

"I care in like a…River…I don't like where you're going with this."

"Hated it when I wouldn't tease you like everyone else. Didn't like to be different. You are different, Captain."

He frowned. "I am?"

"I like you more than them."

She stood on her toes again and kissed him on the mouth briefly. He was breathless from her sudden attack. She smiled and he regained the ability to speak. "River…"

"Like me more than them."

"I do not."

"Liar. Stop lying. Reader sees through it. Jealous of Jayne."

"I was not."

"Kept Cubby on your desk to remind you of me."

"Cubby?"

"Bear wind-up toy. My favorite. You got it because you're my favorite. You came with me today because I'm your favorite."

"Now, slow down, River. I—"

She kissed him again, this time longer. He didn't move. He couldn't. He couldn't think, move, breathe…

"It's okay, Captain. Don't have to do anything," she smirked, taking his arm. "We'll go to the next market together."

She started walking him towards the ship. He had enough strength to choke, "We will?"

"Reader. She knows things. Don't worry. Simon won't mind. Clarence will keep him in line."

They kept walking and Mal let himself grin. River had a hobby, and now so did he. And, if could say so himself, there could be no better hobby than River Tam.

_**End.**_


End file.
